Whoever wrote this hit the nail on the head. Now I want to put it out there and encourage every0ne to pass it around.
How to be a Republican!
To be a Republican today you need to believe:
1. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a ‘we-can’t-find-Bin-Laden’ diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO’s and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a presidentlying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Support for ‘Executive Privilege’ in perpetuity for every Republican ever born, who will be born, or who might be born.
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
If you don’t send this to at least 10 other people, we’re likely to be stuck with more Republicans in ‘08.
Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.
Buddy, can you spare a cup? Buy this guy a coffee! To donate, click here. Thanks! 
